How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
