I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
