you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
