Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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