Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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