don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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