My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
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