READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
