I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
