Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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