That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
