she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
