Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
