drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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