He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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