Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i dont even know how to be here
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
