I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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