the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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