Pregnant stripper...not hot.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
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