people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
