My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
