And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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