Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
