I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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