you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You pole danced in your parka.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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