he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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