i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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