I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
