She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
