this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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