i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
