Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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