oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
