i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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