do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
