I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Randomize
