A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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