I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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