"it" just moved
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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