I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I just found a bag of teeth...
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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