i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
