just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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