let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
