whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I want a musical about memes.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize