I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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