But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
