Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
