My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
