He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Holy shit dude........stairs
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
