i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
