Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
