Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
