SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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