Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I deserve this hangover.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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