you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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