she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
