I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize