She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
