And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
