used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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