it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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