I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Buhtt sex?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
