new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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