Pappa wants mamma naked
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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