Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
