I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize