You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
She just used a chaser for red wine.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize