Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
