She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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