Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Randomize