I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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