So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just found puke in my bra..
So many bounce houses so little time
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
