He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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