Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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