some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
